Fixchas!

Okay, to your left the beautiful list of fixtures should be displayed. If there's any incorrect fixures (ie i'm fairly sure the 2s have some kind of Carnegie fun going on at a different date to that supplied by Scottish Hockey) then scold me via the medium of email (sm42@hw.ac.uk) and I shall mock you in reply using a combination of girls names and statements questioning your sexual preference. Yes, the more astute of you will observe that it is 3.30(ish)am on the eve of a matchday. This may be attributed to myself and the esteemed (and very ginger) marcus tanning bottles of Thresher's finest in preparation for tomorrow's Stirling Uni II game. This is the kind of dedication I would like to see among freshers, and generally anyone concerned with hockey. Although i'm fairly sure Mr Morrow will do enough drinking for all of us, it's always a good idea to err on the side of excess, just to be on the safe side.

And that's "how" for now. Oh, no he didn't!

- Sean

edit: I'll try to get push-back times and venues for all of these fixtures so you won't have to wake up wee mark on the day of each match. Actually if you could wake wee mark anyway on those days with questions anyway it'd be peachy. In fact, i'm thinking of making a habit of phoning him up at 7am-ish most days and asking if he would like, say, a peanut or a pair of corduroy multi-purpose earmuffs or whatever.

Also, it's not necessarily mandatory to wear a headband whilst representing the majestic Heriot-Watt University, it certainly is encouraged. So should you spy a pink headband, baby blue headband, bandana with cannabis leaf on it, or any other slightly unorthodox pattern emblazened upon it, then be sure to snap it up. Bandanas come in useful when we're doing a hungover mental haka in front of Carnegie MCMXVIII and they feel super-duper intimidated, yo!