Heriot-Watt Uni Men's Hockey Club

An Ode to the orifice's of gerbils and other small mammals!

2005-10-18T10:45:00.000Z

In the words of Hammy "We've got to beat these boys, they rape gerbils!" Unfortunately at the weekend we failed to overcome these defilers of small mammals! However I'm sure such poor results can be overcome with such simple solutions as PASSING! But that's enough about that!

This Wednesday the 1's have Stirling at 5.30pm and the 2's take on the mighty Edinburgh 2's at 3pm, all of these festivities are taking place at Peffermill. The form book says that this should be an easy win for the 1's with them having won last seasons fixture 10-2. Unfortunately the form book isn't quite as nice to the 2's, but if trends are to be believed we should win this one 4-0 (i wish!) In all fairness though, if we're going to beat them it's going to be this season! We also get two bites of the cherry as we get to play them again this season, BRING IT ON!!!!

Also in the news this week, Ceilidh tickets have gone on sale. At £12.50 a head they're well worth it and the more of these that we sell the more ball tickets we get! So grab 'em while you can from any licensed branch of Sean!

This weekend the 1's are away in Greenock with all the bits and pieces still TBC. The 2's are at Saughton against Waverley Inveresk 4's . If this isn't a six point weekend it'll be a dissapointment, so my advice is: Pass the ball and we'll rattle in a hat full!

If there's anythin I've forgotten stick it in the comments section please!

Lots of Love Nick x

Fixchas!

2005-10-01T02:20:00.000Z

Okay, to your left the beautiful list of fixtures should be displayed. If there's any incorrect fixures (ie i'm fairly sure the 2s have some kind of Carnegie fun going on at a different date to that supplied by Scottish Hockey) then scold me via the medium of email (sm42@hw.ac.uk) and I shall mock you in reply using a combination of girls names and statements questioning your sexual preference. Yes, the more astute of you will observe that it is 3.30(ish)am on the eve of a matchday. This may be attributed to myself and the esteemed (and very ginger) marcus tanning bottles of Thresher's finest in preparation for tomorrow's Stirling Uni II game. This is the kind of dedication I would like to see among freshers, and generally anyone concerned with hockey. Although i'm fairly sure Mr Morrow will do enough drinking for all of us, it's always a good idea to err on the side of excess, just to be on the safe side.

And that's "how" for now. Oh, no he didn't!

- Sean

edit: I'll try to get push-back times and venues for all of these fixtures so you won't have to wake up wee mark on the day of each match. Actually if you could wake wee mark anyway on those days with questions anyway it'd be peachy. In fact, i'm thinking of making a habit of phoning him up at 7am-ish most days and asking if he would like, say, a peanut or a pair of corduroy multi-purpose earmuffs or whatever.

Also, it's not necessarily mandatory to wear a headband whilst representing the majestic Heriot-Watt University, it certainly is encouraged. So should you spy a pink headband, baby blue headband, bandana with cannabis leaf on it, or any other slightly unorthodox pattern emblazened upon it, then be sure to snap it up. Bandanas come in useful when we're doing a hungover mental haka in front of Carnegie MCMXVIII and they feel super-duper intimidated, yo!

Changes afoot plus news of parties and games

2005-09-29T18:50:00.000Z

Hear ye, Hear ye! I greet you all with news fresh from a meeting at the Sports Union! There is going to be a change to the way that training is run, meaning, we get a full pitch!!!! Monday night training shall be between the hours of 8 and 10 at peffermill and will now involve one hours fitness and one hours full pitch time. A rota will be put up explaining whether we've got skills or fitness first. We also have half a pitch booked for Thursday nights between 8.30 and 10. We may split this session between the 1's and 2's, doing half fitness and half skills, that is yet to be decided and will depend on what the captains feel will work best! Thursday night sessions will start in week 3.

After speaking to the clubs social convenors, a provisional date for pub golf has been set for week 3. This is however subject to change as we haven't told the girls yet! We also have Warm-up Wednesday coming. It's £4 in to the union and then a free bus to mood, there will be a lot of pint downing and games at the union, it's good fun! Be there or be a fud (to use Sean's word of the week)!

There is also discussion taking place about a possible 2 match series between the football team and the hockey team, as in - we play them at football and they play us at hockey. Then we all go to the pub (Where a boat race may take place, we just can't say!!!!)! It's a good chance for a bit of inter team mingling and a bit of banter.

Now for the serious matter of this weekends games. The first team kick off their season with what has traditionally been a bit of a bruiser against Hillhead 2's. This will take place at Royal High at 1pm. This is then followed by the 2's who take on Stirling Uni 2's at 2.30pm. Then we shall all pile down to the Village Inn for a bit of banter and a bevy (A prize to the first fresher who spots a trend here!).

This shall all be preceeded by a Freshers session tomorrow at 2pm at Peffermill. The freshers won't be down till 2.30 so feel free to get there early and have a knock about. If you would like to volunteer to drive freshers down please be at campus at 2pm, the more cars the better.

Any queries, just comment as per usual!

Love Nick x

p.s. Catches win matches!!!!

BUSA = Crazy

2005-09-22T10:20:00.000Z

Hmm, on the BUSA website it looks like somebody got their wires crossed. I put the fixtures here a wee while back, and it would appear that something strange is afoot at BUSA. See, Stirling have been magically promoted to 1A, and have disappeared from our fixture list...to be replaced by Edinburgh 2, who for some reason are still in 1A. Confused? You're not alone...

edit: I must have checked it halfway through a re-jigging, as Edinburgh 2 are back in our league. A straight swap, fair enough!

Back Page Update!

2005-09-12T21:45:00.000Z

After a long and in-depth chat between the Watt's club captain and treasurer there has been a final decision over subscriptions. Donations will be as follows, for first term returning students will pay £40 and then the same again for second term. This will cover transport, training, match fees and your usual subscriptions. This is a far more efficient way of collecting cash and prevents any disputes over who owes what, it also encourages players to train and play to get the most for their money. Freshers will pay £20 first term and then any that continue will pay £40 in the second term.
The reasoning is as follows: A lot of potential hockey players are playing rugby or football etc. as they are charging lower joining fees than us and then shafting the freshers for more money later. We are now in effect doing the same but ours is a lot easier to explain. The aim is to use this to get a good intake of freshers this year to bolster our numbers for the squad, social events and tour. There is a distinct possibility that some freshers will pay their joining fee and then not come back, this leaves us quids-in though as by lowering the joining fee more people will join than would have with a higher joining fee.

And now for something completely different!!!!

On the transfer front!!!

CAN BRUNO BASH 'EM LIKE BUNGLE? Bruno has re-signed for the Watt as an outfield player, thus donating his hockeying brain and fantastic strike to the two's. The two's could find his goal scoring prowess invaluable.

WILL IT BE BUS PASS OR WALL PASS? The new Grandfather of the squad Cameron Ewer has agreed to donate his pace, skill and experience to the Watt for another season. Last season he played an important role in the resurgence of the Watt 1st XI after Christmas. Can his donation help push the Watt to promotion this year?

PRELUDE TO PATTER WITH PREVIOUSLY PRESUMED PENSIONED PAIR! There is word upon the grapevine that old boys Spoon and Hami who were thought to have played their last for the Watt may be prepared to make a comeback. However negotiations are still in the very early stages. Heads as experienced as these would surely be of great benefit to the Watt.

(All transfer saga's gratefully received on the back of a postcard, or through the medium of text message for all you technophiles out there!)

Lots of Love Nick x

Here we go again!!!!

2005-08-30T16:29:00.000Z

I'd like to start by welcoming you all back to the hockey club and the blog after what seems like an eternity away. It's time to prepare for a new season, and here's the news hot, off the press and straight to your door. As per usual this post is here not just to inform you of developments but also to gauge opinion, so please post with opinions on what I've said.

The hockey club will re-commence activities on Wednesday 28th September (Freshers week) with a session at Peffermill. This will be used to take a look at the Freshers but also to select the teams for Saturday 1st October which is the first game of the season. After the training session we then have to conduct an EGM at which I hope to achieve two things. Firstly, the election of a new President. Secondly, over the next few weeks I plan to write and circulate a constitution, hopefully we can the ratify this at the meeting. Then ss is customary on any match day, Wednesday evening or EGM night we shall then hit the town with the Freshers and quite possibly the Ladies team too for a 'team bonding' session.

There are also going to be some changes for this year. We now have a new traing session on a Thursday night from 8.30-10pm at Saughton in addition to our Monday night slot at Peffermill.
The system for collecting subs abd fees is also going to change. Members will now pay a single contribution at the start of the year (Somewhere in the region of £80 but that's only a guesstimate [our crack accountant Matt Remes is on the job]). This contribution will pay for everything. You will no longer need to pay for anything e.g. buses, matches, training. It will all be covered by your subs. We are also getting 2 sets of shirts paid for by the sports union and kept by them. Players will provide their own shorts and socks.

Now a little dilemna, as our fixtures stand we can only play some our our home fixtures at Royal High due to them clashing with something ( This information is 2nd hand so don't shoot me I'm just the messenger.) Therefore we have 2 options. i) I can try and fit all our fixtures onto the weekends that Royal High have available by contacting the other clubs and see if they'll re-arrange. Or ii) The games we can't play at Royal High we play at Saughton. I need feedback on this within the next couple of days as if I go for the former it could take quite a lot of organising.

We're going to have a Rules night at some point, late October to early November. There will then be some friendlies to try and get some players badged. If you would like to be badged or have any ideas then contact Krebs as he's in charge of this one. The more people we get badged the less often people will get asked to umpire so please help your team matesand try and get badged.

Any technical questions about the website should be angled at Sean. Anything hockey related and I'll do my best to help. I hope you're all having a happy summer and that it continues.

Lots of Love Nick x

So...... This is how it goes then!

2005-04-26T21:13:00.000Z

Having finished the season it's now time for the social and administrative sides of the squad to start. I shall begin by giving a brief explanation of the up and coming social events. We are going to have the end of season club games and dinner (most likely on the same day). This involves the Weds 1st XI playing an old boys team, this is a high quality and competitive game. This is then followed by the mens 2nd XI against the ladies' 1st XI. This is a slightly more relaxed encounter and very good fun is had by all! The mens team usually take the opportunity on the friday nite before the match to have a good piss-up with the old boys. This will prob take place at the end of week 5 or 6. This is followed by the club dinner where all members attend and get lashed whilst all of the seasons prizes are awarded. It's all good fun and a welcome break from exams.

Then we have the slightly more serious matter of the AGM. As the men's and ladies clubs are separate we have separate AGM's. Here's roughly what's going to happen at the mens: Firstly we shall have an intro by the president (Alan) Who runs the AGM. Then we have the captains reports. This is followed by deciding whether or not we want to enter any new leagues or cups (Possible discussion! Whether you reckon we should have a 2's indoor team or not?) This goes to a vote of the whole club, if you're a paid up member and present you get a vote on all issues, you also have the power to nominate or second people for positions. After this the fun starts! The nomination and election of positions. It starts with the President and works through to the Saturday 2's captain. The current President will open nominations for the new President ( at this point if you would like to nominate someone for President you do! Then when someone is nominated someone has to second the nomination, if this happens then the person is asked if they are willing to stand. Then everybody who has been nominated and agreed to stand is asked to leave the room and the people who nominated them make a speech on their behalf. A vote is then held and the candidates are invited back into the room for the result to be announced. Thne once all the positions have been elected, we rejoice! Then head out and get wankered as is traditional on a wednesday night!!!! So start havin a wee think about who you think would be good at what. Any q's you've got about what each committee member does, feel free to ask! The AGM is next Wednesday in the Sports fayre at 7pm!

See you all there kids!

Love Nick x

A Summary of the Week That Was!

2005-03-17T15:37:00.000Z

It all began on a sunny Saturday at Royal High! Where the 1's took on a Greenock team that had given them a rather thorough pasting! However The Watt were fired-up by a string of victories which had seen them move from the bottom of the table to a comfortable position in the middle of the table. So the Watt wheeled out another solid performance to put 5 past Greenock without reply and ensuring their place in the same league again next season. If the Watt start off next season with the same calibre of performances with which they have finished this season then promotion should be a serious consideration.

This was followed by a cancellation for the 2's against Stirling, Cheers for the points boys!

Then, it was Sunday! Could the Watt travel to Dundee and record another cup victory in a competition that they had come so close to winning last year? Alas, they pricked us around, we were crap. We're out of the cup, after initial enthusiasm from the team about the cup at the start of the season it appeared as though few people actually cared about it when it came to the crunch. This was a team lacking the spirit that had brought them such success.

And then, before we knew it, it was Wednesday and the end of the Season for the 1st team. Unfortunately they didn't manage to continue a winning streak that had started so many weeks ago in Hillhead. It was a good solid performance with the Watt holding the score to 1-1 until 5 minutes from the end when the Watt were on the end of yet another umpiring injustice. A Short corner was awarded and promptly roofed by Watsonians, the umpire awarded a goal as apparently it came of the goalkeepers foot, now, I've met some people with big feet, but never ones that stretch to the top of the D. Alas, despite the protestations of our Umpire and players the goal was awarded. The Watt then conceded 2 sloppy goals after the departure of Matt courtesy of their number 8. Very much a reflection on the season, the Watt fought hard and outplayed the opposition at times but thanks to bad umpiring by another biased umpire and the occasional misplaced ball we were yet again unjustly beaten at the last. Heads up boys, we'll do them over next season. Also, a big thanks to the guys who came down to support, it was much appreciated, lovin' the banter boys.

And finally, what was without doubt the most important match of the week. The ladies BUSA semi-final. They had gone 1 better than the mens achievement of the previous year and made the semi's. Despite the best efforts of Nottingham to prevent the match from being played at all by insisting that the game was played in Nottingham on the wednesday of the middle of our exam week. They achieved rather fantastically to make a disgrace of themselves and of the BUSA competition by failing to commit one sporting act during the whole saga. So the Watt smiled politely and agreed to get up at 6 in the morning and travel all of the way down to Nottingham with players having to miss exams. When the match got underway the delightful Nottingham supporters then proceeded to park themselves in our dugout, which as everyone knows is clearly meant for the oppositions supporters!!!! The end result was to Nottinghams liking. They may have won the match but they haven't won any friends. If drawn against Nottingham in future they shouldn't expect any favours. Just remember, whoever you climb upon on the way to the top is likely to kick you on your way down! And we all know that what goes up must come down! If Nottingham treat all of their opponents like this they can expect a good kicking on their way down! Well done to the ladies of the Watt for what has been an excellent season, we're all very proud of you.

I'd like to finish by saying good luck to the people who still have exams. I hope everybody's got the grades they want and that it's all gone well for you. Just a couple of games left for the 2's now. Hopefully see you all at the union tomorrow and then straight to the game on Saturday. It's almost the end of the season and with it comes the end of an era. Thanks to our departing students for everything that they've put into the club. You guys will all be missed. It's been emotional.

Love Nick x

The Tale of a Weekend Well Fought!

2005-03-06T18:09:00.000Z

Well, there we have it! The first 9 point weekend for the Watt! It all started on a windy and overcast day in Rosyth where the 1's took on Carnegie's 2's. This was a vital game and defeat of either team may result in their relegation. The game went reasonably well for the Watt with some good expansive hockey being played at times. However more importantly the Watt managed to master what has until now been the weak link in their armour; the team successfully closed the game down, giving Carnegie very little of the ball by playing accurate short passes. The marking was mostly of a high standard by all players. It was a lesson to all in how to grind out a result in what was a physical match, the Watt looked dangerous throughout the 70 minutes and the scoreline of 1-0 didn't do them justice. Many thanks to Sophie for umpiring and having to put up with undeserved amounts of abuse from our favourite fat fifish goalkeeper (Fucking retard!)

Starting 45 minutes later in Kirkcaldy the 2's were playing Carnegie's 5th team. By all accounts the Watt smothered Carnegie for the whole game and were unfortunate not to score more than 2. With the goals coming from Sean and then Sam. Carnegie had drawn level in the middle of the match, but hey! Who cares? We won! A guest appearance was made on the sidelines by the infamous 'Tommy' it was his attendance at the game in the 2nd half which provoked the Watt onslaught and the goal by Sam. In all a good result, it was good to see the goals come from somewhere other than Bungle however the concensus is that the watt would have won by a far greater margin had the goal machine been present! Thanks to Ginge for umpiring, by all accounts a vast improvement from previous attempts.

Then finally, on Sunday the icing on the cake. With the 1's facing a difficult home game to Stirling Uni, the away fixture had resulted in the Watt receiving a 5-0 thumping (our last defeat). And it was on a wave of confidence after 3 wins on the trot that the Watt took to the pitch confident that the diffence in places in the table was a fallacy and that we were the Superior team. Learning from the previous days victory the Watt went out from the start keeping the game tight and giving Stirling very little possession. The Watt took the lead 15 mins in only to see Stirling equalise 2 mins later and so the score remained until half-time. The Watt came out in the 2nd half confident after their first half performance which had seen Stirling largely on the back foot. Mid-way throught the half the Watt scored twice with a goal from eddie and a second from Flymo. This sealed the game and Stirling floundered helplessly trying to respond to the Watt having turned up the tempo. A very good result finishing off the weekend rather nicely. Yet again another masterclass by the Watt in possession hockey. Many thanks to Krebs for umpiring in Watt in my opinion was the umpiring performance of the weekend, he was quick on the whistle and firm with his decisions, kept the game under control well and with performances like that is surely to progress to a higher level of officiating. After the game the Watt contributed to the downfall of one of the Stirling Freshers by causing him to consume a dirty pint and then contributing to it financially and physically (Thank you very much Mr Ewer).

After one very suuccessful weekend we shall hopefully have another, and here are the arrangements for it! The 1's are playing at 2.30 at Royal High and shall be followed at 4 by the 2's. The 2's then have the last 16 of the cup on Sunday away to Dundee Wanderers IV. 'Mon the Watt!

Love Nick x

Dates for your diary!

2005-03-01T15:20:00.000Z

Here's how it goes for the weekend! I hate to be the one to break the bad news but we have a double-header in Fife on Saturday! The 1's shall be playing at 11.30 in Rosyth so we shall be taking cars or helicopters to the game! So a 10 am meet at campus seems like the likely meet time! Nice! This is another one that we need to win, 7-0 would be nice again gentlemen! Ross has put up a team sheet so if you could tick or cross your names he would be most grateful!

Then at roughly the same time the 2's will be playing in Kirkaldy near Ballerie high or something? I don't know I'm only the messenger! This will be at about 12, the guy is going to get back to me tonight so I shall post the times as soon as I know them. Ray will also be putting a team sheet up, however, lets think sbout this one boys! Only tick ONE team sheet as the games will clash! Whichever game you're playing in please bring both kits.

Also, there is talk on the grapevine of a possible 1's match this weekend against Watsonians. Please keep ur eyes on the board, a team sheet for this could go up as late as Thursday. So please try and keep both days free this weekend. There is no reason that we can't make it a 9 point weekend if we field our best teams for these games. Although that task would have been easier if any of you had bothered to turn up to training last night! Especially the 2's after what was a rather poor defensive performance at the weekend! That's not a go at the defence but the whole team, midfield should be marking and tracking back and the strikers should try and get the ball back if they lose it! Defence start's with the strikers!

Anyway, keep your eyes on the board and on this page as there's likely to be lots of news concerning this weekends games both in terms of game and squad info. People who turn up to training greatly increase their chances of getting picked!

Love Nick x

p.s. Last I heard the Pope was still alive, only courtesy of another hospital visit thou!

Update on Life, the Universe and the Pope

2005-02-25T16:59:00.000Z

As requested by Friar here's a new post. This is how it's going this weekend! The 1's have a game tomorrow against GHK, another must win game! It's a 2.30 push-back at Royal High, the girls game which was going to be on before hand has been cancelled. But support for the 1's would be great, I know we don't have breasts or wear skirts but it'll still be good to watch! Not entirely sure what the line-up is looking like at the mo or whether we have an umpire but that's all part of the fun!
Then on Sunday we have the 2's game which is away to Stirling Wanderers at Dunblane, push-back is at 2pm I do believe so it's about a 12.30 meet on campus, if you've been told differently then you're right as I'm just guessing at that one! Unlike the 1's Fixture, this one is a top of the table clash. A win on Sunday would see the Watt rekindle their hopes of promotion! However there are a few things hindering this at the moment! 1) We don't have an umpire! 2) We don't have a team! And last but not least! 3) Even if we did have a team we couldn't get them there due to lack of transport! However, Captain Kirk is on the job and is trying to be as enterprising (Excuse the pun) as possible in solving these problems. My advice to you the players and fans is that you should keep your eyes on the website and keep your phones about your person at all times! It's a fluid world we live in!
Anyway, the word on the street is that we have a decent chance of winning both games this weekend so come along and support if you're not playing! After the 1's game tomorrow there is free grub at the Village Inn so come down for a few beverages and a bit of match analysis (Which will probably take somewhat of a back seat after the first beverage.)
Any voluteers to play or umpire on either day? If so phone the relevant captain.
And one last thing, for anyone that missed it. The pope's still alive. Don't worry you'll hear it here first if he snuffs it!

Love Nick x

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

2005-02-09T20:24:00.000Z

I'd like to be the first to congratulate HWU Ladies' 1st XI on their excellent achievement of qualifying for BUSA as a result of them mauling St. Andrews 5-0 in St. Andrews! A result that was thoroughly well deserved after all the effort that they've put in, in training recently. I feel that they're going to try their hardest to undo all that fitness work tonight by drinking themselves under the table, and I don't blame them one bit, Have a great night Ladies!

Now for another First on the website, A match report for the Ladies 2's ( could this possibly be the start of something leading to this being a whole Heriot-Watt Hockey Site not just the men's team? Ballot's are to be cast in the comments section.)

A game with some 'interesting' umpiring by Debbie McGee and your truly, the 'interesting' bits coming from the Paul Daniels half of the umpiring double act. When a goal was magicked out of thin air, and then made to dissapear again! After a hard fought game the Watt ended up losing 4-0 to a St.Andrews side that outpassed the Watt. There were however some fantastic stick skills and turning moves on display by the Watt that in terms of Skill far outstripped anything that St.Andrews could produce. The Watt played well in the 2nd half and looked like scoring, alas, the brick wall that St.Andrews had constructed around their D did making getting in the D a little difficult, I feel that this is something that should be looked into by BUSA as it is possibly against the rules?

Woman of the Match in my opinion should go to Sophie 'Madame President' Ashcroft. She worked hard all game and combined resolute defending with an ability to move the ball quickly and accurately from the back leading to several good attacks. She also had a technically solid game with some good stick skills and a series of blinding strikes. There were also performances that deserve special mention by Karen (who worked hard all game and moved the ball well, with skill that frequently left St.Andrews for dead), and also from Katy who was the only real attacking option upfront and was involved in all the Watt's best attacks.

And finally, news of this weekends fixtures. The men's 1's have Saturday off but are playing on Sunday in Stirling with the pitch booked from 10 and Push-Back at 10.30, the team are going to meet at 8.15 at reception, good luck in the match it's one you can win boys! Also good luck getting up at that time! The goods news is that there is a very nice pub in Stirling where we could stay to watch the rugby, The Stirling lads are good craic so it could be a fun afternoon after what promises to be a good match! The 2's will be pleased to know that they have the weekend off so can stay in the pub or in bed, whichever they prefer! And that's about it really! Keep 'em peeled hockey fans!

Love Nick x

Games on the 5th Feb

2005-02-07T04:30:00.000Z

Well here it is! The First ever 1st XI match report, it's gonna be short and sweet I feel! Well we lost 3-0 to the best team in the league and we deserved to. The team was a bit rusty and had it not been for a fantastic performance by krebs it could have been many more. There were some promising passages of play by the Watt but unfortunately they all resulted in little, nearly all of the defences lapses were covered by Krebs, unfortunately 3 times in the first 20 mins he was left with 2 on 1's that he stood no chance of keeping out although he did come close. In the 2nd half the Watt played far more like a unit but still failed to score. This game showed glimpses of hope for future games, this is a team that is capable of winning every game for the rest of the seasoon if they learn to play as a unit. Best of luck to the 1st XI in staying up! Now for the 2nd XI report courtesy of the Friar.
For starters im no on the net just to be first to report on the game, im checkin the sty mirren score in the scottish cup, commenting here is just a bonus.

so the game today, where to begin?
the dick in the stetson who claimed to be an umpire, or perhaps the asshat wearing number 9 who threatened to do geordie ross in. possibly derek who hit ray in the balls with his stick. overall the game was in good clean fun eh? not!

the day started out a shambles, ginge mary and i couldnt find the janny's office for the nets buit preceeded to visit every other single bloody room in "royal" high. the changing room was buzzing with excitement, a couple of unfamiliar faces in rob aynsley and robbie claase may have unsettled the watt machine, who knows? anyhoo the game started with sheer fluidity, with us creating many chances and remaining fairly solid at the back. then it has to be said marcus made a large error in judgement with a weak kick that anyones grandparents would have been proud of. the result, a goal by stirling wanderers.
so going into the second half, heads were high looking for the deserved equaliser but we duffed up, geordie ross lost the ball (idiot) and they scored, oops. terrible decisions from stirling umpire led to a third and a fourth for them. however the greatest moment was a bungle dragflick from a beautifully played short corner by yours truly. then when the stirling boys were complaining about the 1 free hit out of 3000 they didnt recieve, the bastard scored again. time nevertheless, duly ran out. the unbeaten run came to an end but we still strive for that promotion spot.

sam got man of the match for consistent running and geordie got dick o the day. although i was sad to see people failing to turn up to the village in for food it meant more sandwiches for us, which were taken into raymonds car.

topics for further discussion:
more headbands?
new strikers?
defenders/midfielders who run back?
being allowed to punch guys like stirling wanderers no. 9?
a back-up keeper?
better umpires?

its not been said in a while but, there's no I in team, there are however 4 in "that shitfaced cockmaster of a stirling umpire!"

Matches on Saturday 5th Feb

2005-02-04T01:33:00.000Z

A weekend of fixtures involving the Watt and top of the table teams! This weekend will be a big one for the men of the Watt with the 1sts playing away to Glasgow Uni and the 2nds at home to Stirling Wanderers! The 1sts will be pushing back at 3.30pm in Glasgow whilst the 2nds begin at 1pm at Royal High. The Good news for the 1sts is that they have managed to obtain the services of Mr. Andrew Krebs after the injury of Iain "Debbie" Mcgee. Regular supporters of the 2nds are sure that Krebs will successfully fill the boots of Debbie, we all wish Debbie well in his recovery from hamstring trouble and look forward to the competition that will ensue with 2 keepers keenly contesting the clubs no.1 shirt. Ross Simpson and his new look first team are hoping that this will be the captains first win in what looks like it will be a very difficult match against a very good team however with the return of Johnny "Hat-Trick" Clarkson all in the 1sts are optimistic that the new captains reign will start with a bang! Shortly before this spectacle takes place the 2's are involved in a top of the table clash which if they win will see them well on the way to promotion (which they fully deserve!). However due to the call-up of Mr Krebs we can only speculate as to what squad changes will result. Will we once again see Marcus "Clean-sheet" Bransbury between the sticks for the 2's lookin to increase his run of clean-sheets? Or will the GK replacement be ***** "Ginge" ******** (His full name has been disguised for legal reasons) who would like to improve on his previous performance? Either way the 2's must surely be in line for another victory after the squad has been bolstered by the experienced heads of Robbie "classy" Classe and Rob "Morpeth-boy" Aynesly. There are also rumours afoot that the squad could include former wednesday 1's captain ***** "Elvis" ******* (Whose full name must also be protected), unfortunately however, but as per usual, he is missing in action, presumed in a pub! If anyone can find him I'm sure that there will be a reward from Captain Kirk who is always looking for players of this calibre to strengthen his squad. And finally, the bad news for next weekend, the 1's match vs Stirling begins in Dunblane at 10.30 a.m. which menas leaving Uni at roughly 8.30 am, all I can say on the matter is, it's not my fault! Alas, the words of any great leader! Today has seen our first ever First XI pre-match info, could Saturday possibly see our first ever 1st XI match report? Your suggestions please! Keep 'em peeled hockey fans.

Love Nick x

Match vs Stirling Uni II

2005-01-25T00:10:00.000Z

Just got off the phone and the news is that we're playing at Dunblane High at 2.45 on Saturday (Don't be shocked, yes it is Tuesday morning and yes the game is organised for the weekend!). We should be fine to wear our home kit as their's is green, however take both kits just in case the 2 strips are similar. My suggestion would be a 12.45 meet at reception giving us an hour to get there and 45 mins to change and warm up, but I await the decree of Captain Kirk. For those of you who are driving make sure you clock your mileage as you can claim your petrol back due to te fixture being outside Edinburgh. The other good news is that the Village Inn are sponsoring us on a Saturday so we can go back there for a couple of pints and some free food after the game! Spread the love!
Love Nick x

HWU II 5 - 0 Erskine Stew/Mel III

2005-01-23T23:54:00.000Z

Firstly, congratulations are in order for the 1st team, crushing scumdee 5-2! Well played, lads. And mood afterwards was apparently...interesting. Anyway, today's match report comes from Mr Andrew Krebs: goalkeeper, and gentleman.

Both teams march onto the pitch. The gallant Watt XI stride on purposefully in a new hybrid strip. Stew Melville amble on in a shy and confused manner overawed by the dazzling white of the new watt strip.
Upon many declarations of "fuck me its cold" the match gets underway. I am sitting on the top of my D by this point. Absolutley bugger all happens. Mary gets set up for sitter after sitter. Still no score. Bungle scared of imminent goalkeeping duties, allows his form to dip tremendously. We score. I didnt see who it was. The other goal is fucking miles away. What do you think I am? A fucking Hawk? If i remember right, we scored again rather soon afterwards still in the first half. The closest I have come to the ball is when I wanted to run out and batter ginge over the head for his (ginger) hairbrained idea that being a right back constitutes standing on the top of the opposition D, declaring to all and sundry that "I am covering the angle!" In Ginge's defence though, he was marking the oldest man ever to pick up a hockey stick [note from sean. the guy is basically the single coolest man...EVER. I am a fully paid up member of his fan-club]. (Who later turned out to be the umpiring version of the Oracle of Delphi, and had fucked his way through the scottish ballet company by the time he was 15! Good show!!!!)
If I remember right, we went in at half time 2-0 up. Bungle was physically quivering when we sat in the goal during the interval, such is his fear of the place.
The newly invigorated Watt 2XI heroes sprinted forth from the goal at the sound of the venerable umpires whistle, much groaning and complaining of Chilblanes ensued.
The second half was great, I got accused of being out my D, I was. However there was a fundimental problem, no one fucking cares whether I am out my D or not. Apart from a Foreskine wankstain! One short physics lecture later, he retreated, abashed.
We scored 3 more, the highlight of which being Bungle's terrified swipe towards the end of the game. Big Gay Al also rattled in a fucking stoater across the face of the goalie from the top of the D.
I touched the ball 4 times in anger, that was 3 more than Mary. Still. He managed to issue forth some amazingly inspiring cries of "sticks down boys" (his being at this point, in danger of getting caught in overhead power lines)
Matt managed to get another sick line for work. Buggering his ankle, knee, shin, leg, eye.
We wish him all the best, I can only apologise, Lidl were out of Lucozade, Barley Sugars and Grapes.

Anyway we won, they didnt. Tomorrow is another day!

REMEMBER: Freedom isn't free. No there's a hefty fucking fee!

Update on the State of the World and Various Sporting Events!

2005-01-18T20:30:00.000Z

Firstly, Cracking training session on Monday, very cold, very wet and very good fun! This will be a long post so I'll try and work in chronological order but please forgive me if I stray! So here we go! Tomorrow is the last Wednesday game of the season, the 1's are playing Dundee at peffermill at 2.30. Please attend if you can as it'll be good craic and the quality of the hockey should be decent, it's a chance to see 1st team standard hockey before playing it next year in what will be a new look 1st XI. If you think that last bit doesn't apply to you don't be so sure there's a lot of the 1st team leaving and next season's 1st XI is far from decided, also if you don't enjoy the banter on the sidelines and the abusing of Dundonians then you're a boring bastard! Then the following evening starting at 8pm at the Students Union is the Sports Union Race Night, it's £3 to get in unless you're in fancy dress in which case it's £1, free entry to Mood etc. etc. (see the earlier post) It's £3 to buy a horse and you'll win a prize if it wins. Anyway the general gist of it is it'll be a big piss-up and a good laugh, if you're on campus you've got no excuse to miss it so spread the word! Next onto the game on Saturday, push-Back is at 2.30 at Royal High, however starting at 1 is the ladies game and I'm sure they would appreciate your support ( it also wins you brownie points with young, attractive, members of our sister club!!!) Anyway, I shall move swiftly off the subject of young ladies in short skirts for obvious reasons, and back onto the subject of our game. Keep your eyes on the board for meeting time at reception and if Ray's ringing you or txts you please reply it makes his job easier. The kit we'll be wearing is a little unusual but trust me on this one! It's blue socks with white top and shorts, I've just got off the phone to Erskine's and that's what was agreed as they should be playing in Blue top and shorts with red socks. However usual rules of bring all your kit applies as I can't guarantee that this arrangement will make it as far as their players! Also I'd be greatful if you could spare an hour or two after the game for a visit to the Village Inn which is near to the pitch. We're trying to get them to supply match Tea's for us on a Saturday and there more likely to do it if we show them that there's going to be a few of us after a home game so if you can drop in for a Bevy that would be appreciated, also even if you're not picked to play please come along for the banter as it should be another good victory for us! And Finally, some dates for your diaries, Wednesday the 16th of Febuary is the team photo, it'll be at 1645 in Sports Hall 2, more details will appear here and on the Board. Also On Friday the 18th it's the Sports Union Ball at the Roxburgh Hotel, Double Tickets are £60 (Expensive but it's definitely worth it) However, we don't have that many tickets so you MUST keep your eyes peeled if you want to make sure you get a ticket, these will be on sale soon. If you've read all of the above stuff then you're fully up to date (Unless I've forgotten something which I don't think I have.) So there you go! See you tomorrow at the game to make some Dundonians cry! Keep 'em peeled hockey fans
Love Nick x

Training!

2005-01-17T19:06:00.000Z

Just to use this website for it's intended purpose I thought I'd put some urgently relevant news up! Training is on tonight, it's only the girls who have cancelled! However, there is no bus from campus for tonight only! So you'll have to make your own way! For any of you who are undecided as to whether to attend or not, there is no snow on the ground in town so training will be no colder or wetter than normal!!!!
Be there or be square!
Love Nick x

Congratulations!

2005-01-17T13:21:00.000Z

I feel I must congratulate the Editor of the world's largest entry ever to appear in the comments section of a website. The suggested answers to possible questions that may appear on an umpiring test are superb. I suggest all members of the Club* read and take heed of these specimen answers in preparation for an upcoming test. I have no doubt that with this excellent advice from someone who is, although not a badged umpire himself, a wealth of knowledge on the subject after playing the game* for many years, entrants will have no trouble at all achieving the pass mark to enable them to umpire for and on behalf of Scottish Hockey.*

I must also congratulate the 2nd XI on their run of three successive league victories and wish them well with their post-Christmas comeback. Of course, the Aberdeen match was played before the festivities began*and so does not form part of the aforementioned comeback despite being the final match to date attended* by the Club's first ever Club Captain* and one in which he takes great pride in recounting to the many fans and colleagues whom he encounters whilst describing what has come to be known by most as the highlight of last season*, the finest moment of his personal career and that of the 2nd XI, and indeed possibly the greatest triumph of the Club as a whole.

-----------------------
* The Club is used to refer to Heriot-Watt University Men's Hockey Club as defined by the Heriot-Watt University Sports Union.

*The game refers to the sport of Hockey as defined by The Rt. Revd. Friar Tuck.

*Scottish Hockey is used to represent all other bodies formed therein including Regional and District Leagues.

*An exception is made here for Club Captain Nick Solman who began his personal festivities long before everyone else and has continued doing so well into the New Year.

*Attended is used here in place of participated as the aforementioned student was not elligible to play as he was not a registered student of the Heriot-Watt University at tyhe time of the match and therefore would have contravened the rules of the organising body BUSA. BUSA designate the running of this league to SUSF.

*The first ever Club Captain is understood to be so as the post was created that year. There is no sign of there being a Club Captain in previous years since records began. The aforementioned student cannot be named for legal reasons.

*Last season is the season 2003/04.

Falkirk V 1-4 HWU II

2005-01-15T16:57:00.000Z

Bungle was voted man of the match in a truly one-sided encounter, which saw him getting a double-brace. Or a hat-trick-plus-one. Or something. Four goals anyway, the bastard! Nothing really to say, except a thank-you to the Falkirk for providing both umpires. Anyway, that's us won our last three games (Aberdeen uni: W4-1, Carnegie: W10-0, Falkirk: W4-1) and so it would seem, the Watt has started our traditional post-christmas fightback.

The Quite-Contrary One, won us a flick, as well. Bonus!

Home/Away Kit Reminder

2005-01-14T06:05:00.000Z

A reminder for the upcoming games: always bring both kits (blue shirt/white shorts, white shirt/blue shorts) when either home or away (sometimes, if we're playing away, the home team's kit clashes with what we've been told to wear, and they haven't got anything to change into...because they're dicks).

When playing at home, wear any other colour but red or white socks, and when away try to get hold of red socks. OR if you're really sad, like me and pete, and nobody seems to care about the sock colours you could wear one red and one blue/green/orange/pink/brown/whatever sock. On reflection, this has started to spread from just me and pete, with the friar and bender alternating their colours. Good lads!

Sports Union Race Night

2005-01-13T15:20:00.000Z

Whats up dudes!!

Just a quick message to let you know that on Wednesday 19th January 2005 the Sports Union is holding a race night to raise much needed funds. 50% will be going to the Tsunami Appeal so its a worth while cause all round.Its £3.00 on the door or £1.00 if you come in fancy dress....ginge and sean (can be the horse!!!! The fun will begin at 8pm. There are prizes, money and fun to be had as well as great offers on at the Students Union Bar. We'll even put you on a bus at the end of the night and take you to Mood!

For those of you that don't know how a race night works drop me an email and I'll try to explain....if not just come along and find out. If you'd like to personalise the event, we will be selling horses on the Bridgelink on Monday and Tuesday. For the small cost of £3.00 you can name a horse and if your horse wins the race you will win a prize!! See brilliant!!

Hope to see you all out in force.....

Sophie

Joke of the week

2004-12-18T21:29:00.001Z

As I was at the Olympics watching HOCKEY (note the relevance to the site) I saw an athlete who must have been nearly 7 feet tall. I wondered in which event he was competing and couldn't resist asking him. "Excuse me," I said, "are you a polevaulter?" To which he replied "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Vaulter?"

Brilliant!

Unbelievable!

2004-12-18T21:29:00.000Z

Gentlemen,

I feel it is my duty to share with you an observation I made only this evening when browsing the site for HOCKEY gossip and information relating to recent HOCKEY events. To my disgust I found no such news. Why? Well it seems this site has become a chat room...a forum for discussing piss-ups...for getting phone numbers(incidentally, numbers of fit birds may be obtained via the use of the website...but not exchanged)...for talking about Raymond living near your Gran.

There can be no legitimate explanation for this abuse of Club communication methods and I would therefore urge you all to seriously reconsider any future plans to post such comments on this HOCKEY site. It is at the discretion of the Club Captain, Nick ' had half the ladies Club' Solman that any reprimands are enforced but he has enough on his mind at the moment living apart from his girlfriend and trying to stay faithful. (...and yes, Krebs, a book IS currently running as to the outcome). I must also inform you that I will be giving Santa all your names to put on his naughty list so you had better hope he forgives you.

This is not MSN...!

Merry Christmas

ARMADILLOS!

2004-12-12T22:40:00.000Z

Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside!

HWU II 10-0 Carnegie Juns Match Report

2004-12-12T14:37:00.000Z

Please do not bow in our presence for we are but mere men!

Of Christmas Dinners, Beveraging and Hockey

2004-12-08T15:08:00.000Z

Due to a predicted poor turnout by the Birds team at the Christmas dinner due to other commitments there is a cunning plan upon the horizon. There is talk of postponing the dinner and turning it into a Burns supper?!?!? Controversial I hear you cry (And yes friar that does Have an "I" in it, as does masturbation!). But it means that we can all get thoroughly rat-arsed at the union on cheap Beverage as I understand that many of us are financially challenged this close to Christmas. However in January everyone's beverage fund will have been replenished by delightfully loaded, generous or just plain senile relitives! It also means that we will be joined by some rather pleasant female company (No not you Mary! I meant the Ladies Team). On the beveraging and hockeying front, due to the fact that we are all now free to spend the whole of Friday in the union (You'll find me in Liberties from about 11) I feel it's a safe assumption that nobody will be legal to drive on Saturday, therefore myself and Captain Kirk propose a meet on campus at around 11 on Saturday from where we will get the bus into town and then onto Royal High for Push-Back against Carnegie Juniors at around 1.30 pm. Bring lots of water, paracetamol and vomit recepticles. For all of those not playing please come along to support as for those still standing after the match there shall be a little trip to one of Barnton's finest public houses. We would like them to provide match teas for us next term therefore the bigger the turnout at the weekend the more sandwiches we get next term!!! It'll also give those attending the chance to discuss the misdemeanours of the the previous night and ridicule those team members who we have to drag out of someone elses bed that morning or whose vomit we have to hop-scotch on the way to the bus. I'm offering a free pint to the best story from the friday night concerning a member of the squad!!!!! (And no Geordie Ross you're not going to win by shagging that munter up the arse again!!!!) See you all soon if I don't remember encounters or conversations I have with people this weekend then I'd like to apologise in advance! Keep 'em peeled hockey fans! 'Mon the Watt

Of websites and Christmas Dinners

2004-12-02T02:26:00.000Z

Okay, a few things need cleared up briefly. Firstly it's a 2XI site, because me and nick are the ones updating it at the moment and we're only ever playing in 2XI games, so we occasionally vomit some terrible match reports onto the site. It's not beautiful, or perfect, but its adequate for writing some dodgy match reports up and linking to shoddily captured photographs. It's not meant to be anything serious, just a bit of fun (for example, friar's miniature drag flicks, and "the 1XI buggering off to glasgow to avoid watching us play!" Also it's not really a place for snide comments, but you're free to post them - you will be identified and terminated (or "ginge"d, whichever we can afford...).

And i'll happily allow a couple of the 1s dudes to post, the bit at the side "the 1XI are welcome to contribute" is not a joke, it's an invitation. Anyone fancies writing some 1XI stuff, then that's cool, the more the merrier! Also it'd be a good idea to all head along to the christmas dinner, it'll be a chance to have a dri...beverage and a bit of a laugh and become mates with any of the folks you don't know too well.

Aberdeen Uni III 1 - 4 Heriot-Watt Uni II

2004-12-01T22:25:00.000Z

In fairness, there was only ever one team in it. Heriot-watt dominated from the start with an early goal from Comrade Hamilton. Aberdeen equalised against the run of play and consequently had a few minutes of good play, but ultimately the steely resolve of the Watt prevailed and shortly before half time, Hami added another to his tally.

Other goals came from Peach whilst the Watt put Aberdeen (or "ay-you" as they preferred to call themselves...) under a considerable amount of pressure, rendering the opposition midfield useless. A well worked win rounded of an impressive SUSF campaign for the Watt 2XI, with 3 wins, 2 draws and 2 losses (11 pts total). Well done lads!

But the wednesday men's hockey calendar is not over yet, hockey fans! The Watt 1XI aim to complete a double header against Dundee Uni at peffermill on the 19th of January after a cowardly posponation (is that a word?) by Dundee earlier this term. Let's hope we can muster the same amount of abuse and get another Dundee Uni yellow!

The birds 2XI also have games against Aberdeen and St Andrews, i'd check the birds 1XI but yetti is pestering me to head out now. I'll update soon-ish!

Carnegie 8th XI vs. HWU 2nd XI

2004-11-29T17:36:00.000Z

Friar has taken it upon himself to provide a brief description.

they scored - where was yetti?
they scored again - where was yetti? (only kiddin mate)
bungle was green carded
we scored - sean (i think)
they scored
i thought "fuck it, i'm going on a mazy run," and i did.
they scoredkrebs was warned with a sending off
ray did well as captain
their umpire left in a jag

NB no black armbands were worn for mary, who is reportedly still discussing terms over his £6 million transfer to inverleith.
a swap deal for mckenzie, popstar and patrick is apparently off now. heriot watt 2nd xi are however looking to bring in the mary look-a-like from carnegie known as "dave"

fife was fun nonetheless, strange how you are forced to pay to enter it though!
for future reference, the staff at hms caledonia naval base are extremely friendly and helpful at giving directions, peace out.

WANTED:

2004-11-27T21:39:00.000Z

Wanted, One Dangerous Dave, to provide entertainment and occasional narcotics.

BONES OF CONTENTION 2

2004-11-27T03:00:00.000Z

On behalfof the Friar I have decided that these bones merit being posted as a main feature and not merely in the comments section. Only a select few can post new articles on the site so most just post theirs in the comments section but as I'm sure you all know the best way to keep power is not to abuse it so if something worth highlighting appears or is presented to us it will be published so get thinking hockey fans...

1. eric clapton
2. fife
3. st.mirren
4. mary's lovelife
5. ray as skipper
6. nickname for nick
7. sick porn on the net - ask sean
8. the 1st team - dicks or lovely boys?
9. player of the term

INTERVIEW

2004-11-26T14:33:00.000Z

Newly appointed second team captain Raymond 'Captain' Kirk takes half an hour out of his hectic schedule to talk to us.

US: So, Raymond is quite a formal name. Should we call u that or do u have a nickname?
RK: Not an official one. I'm open to offers.
US: Congrats on becoming captain, will u be any good?
RK:All I can say is I have an umpire for Sat.
US: Does that make u good then?
RK: Yes.
US:What is your favourite cheesy 80's tune?
RK:Pointer sisters, JUMP.
US:Is the Girl's Aloud version not much better?
RK:Yes.
US:Rumour has it your midle name is Austin (as in Powers)?
RK: NO, it's Austen with an E!
US:OK, sorry.
US:So, do you think u can take the 2nd team to the Cup Final this season?
RK:Depends who's playing. Not if it's Celtic v Rangers.
US: Yeah, funny. What about the league?
RK:Where are we at the moment?
US:Good captaincy so far. You don't know where your team is in the league.
RK:Thats because my philosophy is to take one game at a time. But sometimes two or three games gang up on me.
US:Right. I'm not sure that exactly instills confidence into your players, Raymond.
RK: I care about my players and will consider my answers carefully in future.
US:You know a lot of people are looking to your team to follow the example set by last year's team.
RK: Yes. I understand that.
US: ...and do u think u can?
RK: We have an outside chance with a team worth somewhere in the region of £4.3m.
US:It's all very well having an expensive team but they have to work together.
RK: Well it takes more than one season to gel a team, just look at Chelsea.
US:U have only one season. Does ths mean u will be running for re-election next year?
RK:Definitely. Regardless of a 1st team call up.
US:Perhaps u should see how this season goes first. You haven' even had one game in chatge yet?
RK: All in good time. (At this point, RK asks Yetti if he has any balls for the weekend. Good preparation...?)
US: I understand u have ben asked to take charge on Wed in Aberdeen? How do u feel about that?
RK:Well. We can field a pretty strong team although I fear Aberdeen may field a slightly stronger one.
US: So, you're going to lose then?
RK:No. We will fight to the death.
US:That could get messy. Does the Club have insurance for that sort of thing?
RK:How the hell should I know?
US: Shouldn't u know?
RK:No. I'm the captain...well maybe I should, but i don't. At least I have an umpire and a team for my first match in charge. One step at a time. Tomorrow I intend to find out their real names!
US:Well, I think that's a good place to end it Raymond. Thanks very much for speaking to us and good luck tomorrow.
RK: Ta the noo.

Raymond's first game in charge is tomorrow at 2:30 @ Rosyth.

All Is Revealed

2004-11-26T11:39:00.000Z

Legal restrictions have now been lifted and it can be publicised that Nick 'had half the ladies' club' Solman is shagging Shona. In fact he is going out with her which is a step forward for the poor boy. Let's all wish him well.

HWU 2nd XI vs. Edinburgh Uni 2nd XI - Post-match report

2004-11-24T17:30:00.000Z

The BUSA website says that we beat Edinburgh 6-0. Who are we to argue? No, but seriously the Watt were up against a full strength Edinburgh side yesterday. As always Krebs had a cracker between the posts keeping out numerous shots from both short corners and open play. With Matt out the side through injury the Watt defence was not at full strength but played very well. It seems Olly 'I tie' Dunatov' has turned over a new leaf remaining calm throughout the match and not seriously contesting a decision by either umpire. It has been suggested that this was down to the unusually high standard of umpiring but I'm in no position to comment on the matter. The midfield played well but were beaten regularly by Edinburgh playing a simple passing game and using the entire width of the pitch to spread the ball. Edinburgh's use of deep passes which were then spread round the back made life difficult for a Watt team which, in the past, has tended to favour running the ball as much as possible. Late in the second half, injured captain Eddie Bryant made an appearnce up front to try to recover a couple of goals but to no avail. Although Krebs' outstanding performance in goal, the man of the match award went to a fresher who had his best game yet and who impressed all. He earned his place in the team after several good games at the weekends and a cracking training session on Monday night. Congratulations, then, to Grandpa Sam who has come on leaps and bounds so far this year. Well done to all who played. Unfortunately, the team is looking incredibly weak for next week's clash against Aberdeen 3's and although we are currently in the process of trying to reschedule the match for a more appropriate date when nobody has exams, you just never know with Northeners!

I think it is probably unfair of me to mention that Club Captain Nick 'had half the ladies club' Solman was thrown out of Mood last night for vomiting, evidence of which was found on his shoes this morning, so I won't. Watch this space hockey fans.

New Appointment

2004-11-24T02:16:00.000Z

Under new regulations, if a Club has any members under the age of 18, said Club must also have a Youth Development Officer. Said officer must have CRB checks so everyone knows he is not on the sex offendors register and doesn't interfere with kids. For this reason, it was decided that Nick Solman, Club Captain and trusted member of the community should NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, undertake this role.

So who is our under-ager I here you cry. Little John. ...and now everyone knows you are not 18 they will probably mention it to any publican you may encounter whilst trying to purchase alcoholic beverages. Ha Ha Ha. Oh, and the Youth Development Officer assigned to look after Little John and introduce him to the ways of the world and the hockey club and to ensure everyone gets him absolutely off his face...? Yetti! Ha Ha Ha.

BONES OF CONTENTION

2004-11-24T01:48:00.000Z

Please feel free to comment on these bones at your leisure.

1. Nick being distracted by a member of the ladies' secondsfrom the sidelines whose name cannot yet be divulged for legal reasons .

2. Ray being distracted by a parent of female orientation from the sidelines whose name is Rozanne.

3. The 1st XI travelling to Glasgow solely to avoid turning out to support the 2nds.

4. Yetti not being allowed to play in the SUSF league.

5. The war in Iraq.

6. Re-election of Bush.

7. U21 Internationals playing for Colts' teams. Sorry, U21 Internationals who have just come back from injury.

8. Mary.

9. Best looker in the Ladies' Club. (1sts AND 2nds)

MAN OF THE MATCH

2004-11-24T01:27:00.000Z

As requested by the man himself, here is a new section for the sole purpose of singing the praises of Friar Tuck. As he will no doubt be the first to point out, he has now been named Man of the Match three times and would like this fact to be recognised and acknowldeged by all. Many thanks.

STOP PRESS!!!!!!!!! NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-23T23:09:00.000Z

Training last night turned up more than just speed, cunning, outstanding skill, and Nick assessing the skill of his past conquests on the pitch and not in the bedroom. (...and between you and me, I feel he might have been eyeing up a few more?!) Although it was a last minute decision, an EGM (Emergency General Meeting for those of you who have not yet reaped the benefits of a University education) was called for the close of training and lasted somewhere around about 5 minutes! However, time is money, and as nobody was getting paid we wanted it over quickly. (According to my sources if you want it over quickly Nick is the man to call...?) At the meeting, members were informed of three resignations; Club President, 1st team Captain; 2nd team Captain. Outgoing 1st team Captain Alan 'Big Al' McKay was elected to the post of President with Simon 'Skoolboy' Scouller buggering off to Inverleith. Of course, this being the 2nd XI website, the question on all your lips must be: Who is the new two's Captain? "Please say it's Yetti!" I hear you cry. The man, no, legend, who took the team all the way to the Plate Final last year. Who commands the respect of the whole team. Who has been called back to coach the team this year and try to take them to glory once again.
Sorry. No. It's Ray.

HWU 2nd XI vs. Edinburgh Uni 2nd XI - Pre-match report

2004-11-23T20:00:00.000Z

Following the 0-0 draw with their 3rd XI the Watt are expecting a tough game tomorrow. Another capacity crowd (Raymond's mum, "Hi Mrs Kirk.") is expected for this exciting top-of-the-table clash. (well, nearly top!) Missing through absence are Iain 'Debbie' McGee, Peach, and Captain Eddie 'Psycho' Bryant. Club captain Nick 'had half the ladies club' Solman will wear the armband with pride as the Watt look to prove themselves against what can really only be described as an assortment of upper class, former public school boys who have nothing better on which to spend their trustfunds than Hockey Club subs.
Rumour has it that reporters from such well-known publications as the Metro and Watts On may even be in attendance to witness Edinburgh Uni's demise against the power of the Watt and their £4.2m (€ 6.6m) side.
At this point I feel I am duty bound to clear up an unfounded allegation relating to my playing in the SUSF league this year despite the fact that I am no longer a registered student. My return to the Wednesday side has been in a purely coaching/managerial capacity and will remain so until such time as I should be allowed to compete or am otherwise banned completely from any involvement in BUSA due to unruly behaviour, redundancy, or death.

'Mon the Watt!

ps Push back 2:30, Peffermill

HWU 2nd XI vs. MIM Colts

2004-11-23T14:27:00.000Z

COLTS MY ARSE!

Apparently, if an international player has recovered from injury but not yet played another game for his country, he is not classed as an international and can therefore play in a Colts side. Comgratulations, then, to MIM who, under these unusal guidelines, managed to secure a 5-2 victory over the Watt. Most impressive seeing as all players of both teams were of the same standard. Well done to Eddie and Hammy who slotted one a piece past the keeper to at least save face for the Uni.
There were several times during the match when certain players believed that Scotland U21 International David Guy was allowed to get away with a few things by umpire George Guy (any relation? Hmmm?!) that perhaps another umpire may have blown up but far be it from me to hazzard any such accusations personally! Oh, I apologise, that should read former Scotland U21 International David Guy until such time as he should be recalled to the National squad. Still, at least the Watt Boys came away with a smile on their faces after noticing that the aforementioned David Guy was sportimg a hair style that, only minutes before the match, meant he had unfortunately been mistaken for an unusually tall toilet brush. Hmmm, a Scotland U21 International with really spikey hair that looks stupid... where have we seen that before? What's that you say? McKenzie? No...?
Until next time hockey fans!

Heriot-Watt Uni II 3 - 2 Dundee Uni II

2004-11-18T15:45:00.000Z

The Watt took an early 2-0 lead which was equalised in the second half. Winner from Alan McKay sealed it. Nuff said. ...well, not quite. Perhaps we should also mention 3 cards; 1 green (Dundee), 1 yellow (Dundee), 1 red (Dundee). Ha Ha Ha. Just play the bloody game!

Edinburgh Uni III 0 - 0 Heriot-Watt Uni II

2004-11-18T15:36:00.000Z

(Courtesy of Yetti)

Although victory for the Watt was predicted, Edinburgh held their own and gave us a run for our money. The Watt defense lived up to expectations, however, letting nothing past , and between the posts Krebs had a screamer. Edinburgh's attacking performance was nothing to write home about, and failed to impress. End to end stuff provided a thrilling match for the spectators whose patience was, 5 minutes from time, almost rewarded when a free hit from the 25 was mere inches from contact with Sean's stick. The ball fizzed past the post and the game ended a no score draw. Still, sgainst main rivals Edinburgh, Cracking result boys! Well Done!

Falkirk GHC IV 2 - 2 Heriot-Watt Uni II

2004-11-18T15:24:00.000Z

The first challenge of the day was actually getting to the Linlithgow Academy pitch. Phil's car and Krebs' car made it to the primary school (cue various jokes involving Nick) while Ray was fannying around god knows where. Eventually after travelling the length and breadth of linlithgow we happened upon the Academy, and all was well...

Until we lost a goal in the first half, and another early in the second. Luckily Fraser was at hand to tap in from 6 inches to bring it back to 2-1, and The Friar grabbed the equaliser from a rather spectacular flick from the byline. Not a bad result, all things considered, as Falkirk IV are 2nd in the league.

Edinburgh Uni 3rd XI v. HWU 2nd XI :Match Preview and Prediction

2004-11-09T19:08:00.000Z

With a strong side, the Watt have high hopes and this promises to be a first class match. Edinburgh Uni 3XI have never been an easy opposition but something tells me that tomorrow is not going to be their day. First choice goalie Iain 'Debbie' McGee is unavailable so the equally talented 'Krebs' will start between the posts. With a midfield the likes of which have never been seen before, a defence rivalling the best in the league, and the dynamic duo up front, a record crowd is expected to gather for what may prove to be the match of the season so far. With the 1st XI not having a match this week it is rumoured that a number of them were expecting a start for the 2nd's. Sorry to disappoint lads, we don't need you! I cannot remember a stronger team turning out for the 2's since the likes of Winesy and Spoon graced the pitch with their awesome skill. Well, what more can be said? Only that if you miss it, next time you're out with your mates you'll have to occupy yourself 'cos you'll be left out of the conversation for a long time to come! See you there hockey fans!

Yetti.

Inverleith Juniors 0 - 2 Heriot-Watt Uni II

2004-11-09T18:53:00.000Z

Two moments involving a 4 foot high Inverleith superstar dominated this game. The first involved said pint-sized legend, the ball and a one-on-one with krebs. He dribbled up toward the top of the d, seconds later (as we all know, when the ball enters the D, Krebs is out there at world record pace...) Krebs has just scythed this dude and he went flying up in the air. He took a fair beating. The next best bit was when Shaggy decided he wanted a foul, so he took a dive the next time someone challenged him. It just so happened the next challenge was...the random little kid.

Also, the victory marked the return of Yetti! Legend!

Aberdeen Uni II 9 - 0 Heriot-Watt Uni II

2004-10-28T13:46:00.000Z

Owwwwww! Bad game, good banter though!

Heriot-Watt Uni II 2 - 2 Carnegie V

2004-10-28T13:41:00.000Z

After us freaking out when we got there as we could not find the janitor, the nets or any hockey balls and fielding a semi-makeshift team we played not so bad. Congrats to Smoggy (as eddy has informed me people from middlesbrough are called) Ross for a sterling umpiring job, thanks for the shorts! There's some cracking photos still to come, particularly fantastic one that Krebs took whilst Queen Margaret's Uni women's hockey team were playing...

Heriot-Watt Uni II 2 - 0 Stirling Uni II

2004-10-21T16:07:00.000Z

After dicking on them for the first 5 minutes, and then falling to pieces for the next 25 or so, then regaining control...we finally got the opening goal early in the 2nd half. It was a superb reverse slap by LJ that sailed high into the nets, followed up 10 minutes later by a strike by nick that took out the Stirling goalkeeper and went in. Much singing was done, and consequently much beer was drunk whilst watching the 1sts play.

Any Pictures?

2004-10-19T14:01:00.000Z

If you've any pictures of games we've played, then just email them to me and i'll upload them. There's a "photos" section at the side which links to a website on my MACS dept webspace. There's not too many at the moment, about 6 if I recall correctly, but we'll sort that out whilst playing Stirling Uni II tommorrow!

Heriot-Watt Uni II 1 - 1 St Andrews Uni II

2004-10-19T01:44:00.000Z

A draw wasn't too bad a result, looking back now. But just after the game, I don't think any of us felt the scoreline did our performance justice. Eddy was unlucky to crack one off the bar, and losing Ross in the second half didn't help. Spare a thought for Alex who went off in the 1st half with a sore shoulder...which turned out to be a broken collar bone. Ouch!

By the way, I thought i'd set up this blog to stick info and comments about the team up so people can check where we're playing, when we're playing etc. Also so we can show the world what a true legend ginge is. I will upload a video of ginge downing a pint at some point!